Discussing the Hard Things…

April 3, 2023

In this Edition:

1. Quote.

2. Update.

3. Writing news: I’m a mentor!

4. Book Talk.

5. Final thoughts.

Update & Motivate:

I’d planned to talk about characters and how I create mine, but my week had a different emotional undertone to it.

I started not to write anything on the following topic because I’ve been surrounded by it. Everyone around me is talking about it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, but the people who are suffering most don’t get the luxury of “letting it go.” So, I’m talking about my experience with it.

As most of you probably heard, we had a school shooting in Nashville this week. It occurred twenty minutes from my house, at a place I’ve passed many times.

(If you need to, skip to “Writing update” below to avoid the potential emotional tug.)

Something tragic like this always breaks my heart. So much pain, sadness, so much waste and regret. When it happens down the street, and you know kids who go there, the experience cuts deeper.

When I first heard the news, my mood flipped. I’d been going about my normal routine, then suddenly I wasn’t. Suddenly, I was thinking about the horrors that all those families were going through. And then I started thinking about my own small kids. And the what-ifs started marching across my brain, sending my blood pressure up and causing anxiety.

It took some self-control not to go pick my daughter up from school, and I held tighter to my pre-schooler who was home with me that day.

Not sure what my kids would hear outside the house, we had to have a hard talk that evening. There were tears.

Later that night, I was struggling with sadness because I kept putting myself in those parents’ shoes. I kept imagining what it would be like. I mean, I really made myself go through it in my head. It was a miserable exercise.

And then as Stephen and I were talking, I thought: It isn’t helping those parents for me to do this. And my mood will affect my children.

So I stopped making myself go through it.

Later, when I was talking to another mother who has small children, I realized something. She had been doing the same thing I had been. And inside all of us, there might be some guilt. Survivor guilt. Happiness guilt. Guilt over not feeling the proper kind of guilt.

There was a part of me that felt guilty for feeling happy. When other people were suffering, how could I possibly smile?

But if we all crumble, who will be there to pick others up?

I won’t stop feeling utterly heartbroken for the victims and their families. I grieve alongside them, but I also can’t pretend to be as grief-stricken as they must be because I haven’t gone through what they have. To pretend I can fully understand isn’t even fair.

My ultimate comfort is in prayer.  

Writing news:

At the encouragement of others, I am officially a writing mentor. Last week, I was assigned a mentee through the Women’s Fiction Writing Association I belong to. I’m excited to share the knowledge I’ve gained over the years. She’s a very nice person, and I look forward to being a part of her writing journey.

It’s funny how life seems to unfold a lot of similar things at one time because right before being a mentor, I ran into a woman who I’d precepted over 7 years ago. I was working in the OR (spine surgery) at the time and had signed up as a preceptor for students going through Trevecca’s PA program, where I got my master’s degree. I had a few students who spent 6 weeks with me and I trained them in the clinic and operating room, observed them, and then reviewed them.

It was so much fun. And seeing her was really special. It reminded me what a good feeling it is to help someone achieve their dreams. Being a part of that is powerful.

Let’s hope I feel the same way with writing. ;-)

Book Talk:

What I’m reading…

I’m juggling 3 books right now, a mix of women’s fiction and suspense/thrillers.

1. THE SENATOR’S WIFE by Liv Constantine. This one is a pre-release, meaning it isn’t published yet. I love getting to read things that aren’t even available for purchase. i’m only 10% in, but it’s good. It’s a Women’s Fiction with suspense.

2. SECLUDED CABIN SLEEPS SIX by Lisa Unger. 38% into this one, and I’m enjoying it.

3. I’m beta reading a suspense/thriller that a lovely writing friend of mine wrote. I’m not too far in, but it’s good too!

   Lots of good reading. I’ll keep you posted. Reviews to come.

Final thoughts:

May you savor every moment of this week. And find the treasures in the madness.

I’ll see you next week.

Much glitter,

Melissa

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