The “I’m not good enough.” Mentality
In this Edition:
Quote.
Motivate: Disappointment.
Update: Writing journey.
Book talk: What I’m reading.
Valentine fun: the lesson I’m teaching my Daughter.
Valentine(ish)recipe: Oreo Truffles.
Final thoughts.
Update:
This past week, a writing friend of mine told me that Camille Pagán, a successful author and writing coach, was presenting on zoom with a webinar entitled: Bounce Back (And Write Better Than Ever).
I’ll be honest, I don’t have a lot of time to spare for writing lectures unless they’re expected to be stellar, but it was a spur of the moment thing, and it’s fun to watch and discuss with someone else who is also watching, so I “attended.”
It was a good lecture, not a ton I personally needed to hear, but there were pearls I think we should all remember, writer or not.
When it comes to disappointments in life, we all have them, and we can all use a reminder of how to re-frame negative life events.
Camille started off by asking everyone to remember the last time they were really disappointed. So, go ahead and do that now if you’re in the mood for an exercise. Think of the last time you were really disappointed.
Now, let’s dig in.
What does our disappointment in that thing tell us?
I liked this part: It’s a sign that we really care about that thing. Cute, right?
It’s interesting. If we didn’t care, we wouldn’t be disappointed. So we learn a bit about what’s important to us in life. (Big surprise: mine was writing related.)
During this lecture, Camille shared a personal story. She wrote a book. It went to auction (multiple publishing houses wanted her book), and she got a 6-figure advance (they paid her well, before the book was for sale, because everyone expected it to do very well). Her book was released, AND…it only sold a few thousand copies. She was disappointed and so was her publisher. the publisher was so disappointed that they didn’t want to buy any more books from Camille.
Her publisher dropped her.
She started to question her abilities and wondered if she should give up on writing. She started to focus on all the negative things, what hadn’t happened. In short, she was majorly disappointed.
But when she stopped pitying herself and stopped telling herself that she was a failure, she analyzed what had actually happened. There were multiple factors that had caused poor sales. She couldn’t change what had happened, but she could learn from it and apply it to the future.
In the end, she didn’t want to give up on something that meant so much to her. She pulled herself up and got a writing coach who helped her see that her disappointment shouldn’t keep her down, but that she should use that disappointment to keep going.
Because even in disappointment, there’s something to be learned, data that you can apply to move yourself forward.
She’s now quite successful and on Amazon top seller lists.
Alongside this topic: the brain is receptive to input. If you tell your brain you’re a failure, it will behave as if you are. And, as I’ve been told before and said myself, we’re wired to focus on the negative stuff that happens to us for self-preservation.
BUT if you tell your brain you’re not a failure and you tell it to focus on what you can learn and apply from a situation, it IS capable of overriding previous commands.
Outlook, attitude, determination, and mindset can make or break you. It determines how you handle your next life hurdle too.
You have two choices when faced with disappointment: let it use you or use it. Which applies to “bouncing back” in writing, but also to every single other aspect of life.
Update:
I’m currently editing my psychological suspense/thriller, Consumed, and loving every minute of it. I don’t want to do anything else. I even resented writing this newsletter because it was taking me away from writing. 😉
Though, honestly, every time I write one of these emails, I jazz myself up.
No other stellar writing news.
Just for the record, I haven’t forgotten those who want to beta read! It’s just a slow process. Hang in there with me.
Book Talk:
Currently reading:
Lie To Me by J.T. Ellison. I’m 53% in and thoroughly enjoying it. Hopefully a review next week if all goes according to plan.
Up next:
The Golden Couple by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen. (Recommended by Jama. Thanks!)
Hello Stranger by Katherine Center.
Have you read any of these? Let me know your thoughts if you have!
Valentine Fun
So, we’re getting close to Valentine’s day, and I thought it would be fun to share what’s happening at our house.
In the fall, when it was still warm, my oldest daughter asked if we could do a hot chocolate stand in the winter. I said “sure!” without really thinking about all the details of how that would work.
But lately, we’ve been talking about the value of money, earning, spending, and saving. We also like to watch The Food Network’s baking competitions at our house, and Aerie’s decided she’d like to be a baker when she grows up, maybe even try out for the kid’s baking championship.
So I had a thought…what if instead of a hot chocolate stand, she and I baked valentine goodies, packaged them up, and sold them to our neighbors in Nashville? It was a win all-around, lessons galore, and we’d spend quality time together. She LOVED the idea.
So that’s what we’re doing. I even got wild and created a landing page showcasing the treat boxes on my website where people can email me their orders.
I have NO idea how this will turn out. I put the little advertisement I created online on Saturday, and she has 10 orders so far. So at least she’ll make a profit! (Which is something I was concerned wouldn’t happen.)
Who knows, maybe she’ll be wildly successful and become an entrepreneur at a young age. Anything is possible.
One horrible draw-back I hadn’t considered: since I don’t eat dairy or gluten, I can’t taste ANY of the treats we decided to include in the menu.
Here’s a recipe from our treat box: Oreo Truffles. It’s so simple, but SO delicious.
And they’re perfect to serve family and friends as a valentine’s day treat or to elevate a book club any old time!
Oreo Truffle Recipe
Ingredients:
(Makes 28-32 truffles)
36 (14.3oz/405g) regular Oreo cookies (not Double-Stuf). Use gluten-free Oreos if you need to be GF.
8 ounces (224g) block-style cream cheese, softened to room temperature (I use it straight from the fridge)
12 ounces (339g) semi-sweet or white chocolate, coarsely chopped.( I use dark chocolate chips for added decadence. The Oreos are sweet enough.)
1/2 teaspoon oil (I don’t use this.) but I do add a dash of vanilla extract
optional for garnish: sprinkles, Oreo crumbs, additional melted chocolate (The chocolate can be put in a piping bag and used to decorate the top of the truffle.)
Instructions
Make the Oreo truffle filling: Place the Oreos (the entire cookies, filling and cookie) in a food processor or blender. Pulse into a fine crumb.
Once you have the crumbs (should resemble a delicious dirt), place in a bowl and work in the block of cream cheese. I use my hands, but you can use a hand-held or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment or just continue using the food processor if it’s large enough, to beat/pulse the Oreo crumbs with the softened cream cheese until combined.
Using a Tablespoon (or your clean fingers), scoop out a spoonful of the mixture (about 18–22g each) and, using your hands, roll into a ball. Place balls on baking sheets or plates lined with parchment paper. If the mixture is too sticky, refrigerate for 15 minutes before rolling into balls.
Cover (I don’t cover) and refrigerate the balls for at least 1 hour and up to 3 days (do cover if leaving for days). If you’re in a rush, cover and freeze the balls for 30 minutes. (Do not freeze much longer than that, unless you transfer them to the refrigerator after 30 minutes.)
Melt the chocolate (2 ways): Place chocolate chips in a glass bowl or a 2-cup liquid measuring cup—its depth makes dipping really easy. Melt in 20-second increments in the microwave, stirring after each increment, until completely melted and smooth. You can also melt the chocolate using a double boiler, or a heatproof bowl placed over a pot of simmering water. (i use the bowl over simmering water, but don’t let your water get to a roaring boil). Stir constantly until melted. Let the warm chocolate sit for 5 minutes to slightly cool before dipping, otherwise it will melt the shaped Oreo balls.
Coat the Oreo balls: Working with one Oreo ball at a time, submerge into the melted chocolate and swirl to coat; carefully lift out using a spoon, fork or dipping tool. Tap the utensil gently on the side of the bowl/measuring cup to let excess chocolate drip off. Use a toothpick (or another spoon) to help slide the truffle off of the utensil and onto a parchment lined plate or baking sheet; or, if using the candy dipping tool, turn upside down to release.
Optional fancies: If desired, top with sprinkles or Oreo crumbs while the chocolate is still wet. If you have leftover or another melted chocolate, use a spoon or a squeeze bottle or piping bag to drizzle it across the tops of the dipped truffles.
Refrigerate balls for at least 1 hour to allow the chocolate to set before serving. Once chocolate is set, you can store them in an airtight container in the refrigerator, layered with parchment or wax paper, for up to 2 weeks.
Recipe adapted from Sally’s Baking Addiction.
Final thoughts:
I hope your week exceeds your expectations. But if it doesn’t, I hope you find yourself valuable enough not to let the disappointments keep you down, but you instead, figure out a way to use them to your advantage.
Until next week, much success and, as always, much glitter,
Melissa
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