Are you anxious about the future?
Today’s focus: Time in Contemplation
In this edition:
The Quote
Update & Motivate: Being still
Medical moment: Vit D
Book Review: In A Dark, Dark Wood
Final thoughts
“
If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.”
—Anatole France
Update:
Good morning! (or afternoon or evening, whenever you’re reading this)
My plan was to move on to habit #4 in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, but I wanted to share a personal experience with you instead.
This week, I did a “Retreat in Daily Life.” The idea of meditation has been interesting to me for a while now, and when I heard about this retreat at church, I decided to sign-up. I didn’t know what to expect, and the idea of meeting with a “spiritual director” for 30 minutes each day kinda freaked me out. But I was curious and itching for some clarity in my life, so decided to try this thing that was, for me, a little radical.
The past week ended up being wonderful. I started skeptical and scattered and wanting answers from God.
In life recently, I’ve wanted to know where I was going, where I was supposed to go. I wanted to know that everything was going to work out, be okay. I wanted to know what to do and how to do it. I wanted results…now.
And I honestly didn’t think that I’d get any answers this week. One week? Nah, not gonna happen.
But I did.
This week, I was instilled with a sense of stillness. It had little to do with the direction from the person I met with (though she was awesome, and I’m going to keep up with her), and everything to do with the 30 minutes of “meditation” I did every morning in the quiet where I breathed in scripture like I never had before, putting myself into the moment. I listened, felt, smelled, and heard. I let myself be open to gathering the good inside and outside of me. And I gave myself grace when my mind wandered.
I put meditation in quotes because I didn’t necessarily follow the rules. I did what worked for me.
Now you may believe in God, you may not. My experience was filled with God because it is from God that I find myself. But you may not sympathize with that, but even if you don’t, I still think there’s something to be taken away here.
There are three main points that came out of my time in reflection:
1.) Be true to yourself.
I’ve been trying really hard to please other people and without realizing it, I was hiding a part of myself so I could “fit’ into a space I thought I wanted to fit into. But when you try not to focus on something that fundamentally makes you who you are, you end up frustrated and lost.
Who are you? What makes you who you are? What are your passions? When you’re honest about that, you find the right people to be around, the right places to be, the right path to follow. You fear criticism and judgement less. You find comfort and confidence. You find your niche.
2.) Don’t focus on the people who don’t support you.
Focus on those who do.
Surround yourself with those aligned to your life’s mission. Surround yourself with the people that lift you up. Lift those people up in return.
As you know, I’m working toward getting published and finding people who might be interested in what I write. As a writer, you have to promote yourself.
HARD. FOR. ME.
I love the creative aspect of writing. I do not enjoy promoting myself. I do not enjoy relying on other people for my success. But that’s the definition of being an author. If you don’t have an audience who enjoys what you’re producing, you don’t have a career as an author.
But to ease myself into the process of “self-promotion,” I’ve been reaching out to people and asking them if they’d like to be a newsletter recipient. I figured during this giveaway time, it would be even easier.
I reached out to 2 people this week via FB messenger because I honestly thought they would be interested. Silence. They saw the message. I could tell by the way the message changed.
But I heard nothing back, and it stung. For whatever reason, that rejection hurt more than any professional rejection I’d received from agents. It shook me. I pulled back, wounded, thinking that “self-promotion” was a killer of my dreams. I didn’t want to experience that feeling again, so maybe it wasn’t in the cards for me to be an author. I can take professional rejection, that’s rejection of a product. I can rise above. But personal rejection? You rejecting me: that’s crushing. How do I come back from that?
During my experience this week, I got an answer to that:
push aside those who don’t support you.
And focus on those who do!
And keep doing what you’re doing (if it’s what you want to be doing) and run with the people who want to run with you. It takes some work and time and patience to find those people who are interested in what you’re interested in, but they’re there and if you let the negativity keep you down, you will never get where you want to go.
There are many reasons that I might not have received a response. Maybe they saw me as intrusive and resented the fact that I hadn’t reached out in a while. Maybe they saw the message, thought they’d reply later and then simply forgot. I don’t know. All I know is that their silence felt like rejection to me, logical or not.
In short, those people are blocks in my path. I could’ve reached the blockade and turned around or gone another way. (Which might be valid.) but I also have the option to move the blocks out of my path and keep going. (If you’re interested in the “experience” of how I came to this conclusion, reply to this message and ask. I’d be happy to tell you. It was a great experience.)
Note: I’ll be very honest here…I’m still dealing with those feelings. When the people I care about or even have fond feelings toward don’t support me in a way I need to be supported, I struggle. But that doesn’t mean I’m not working hard to get past those feelings. And you better believe, I’m not giving up because that!
Don’t feel sorry for me. Be empowered with me.
3.) Be in the now.
I’ve mentioned this before, but wow, do I need a reminder.
Worry with what comes next destroys your now. I’ve been so worried about what I’m going to be doing in a year from now that I’m stalling in my present.
I mentioned stillness, and that’s my plan moving forward. I will work toward my goals. I will work to decide what I want those goals to be. I will change those goals as I get new information, but I will be still and know that I don’t have to have all the answers right now. I will be open to discovering the answers along the way, to finding the nooks and crannies that life presents and diving in where appropriate.
I will go after what I want, but I’m going to listen along the way. And I’ll open those doors that I come to and be satisfied with the knowledge that I don’t need to open all the doors at once. Timing in life is everything. If you get something at the wrong time, you risk being unprepared for it; you risk losing it.
Medical Moment: Vit. D levels
Book review: In a Dark, Dark Wood
This one has been around for a while, but it’s one that held my attention from start to finish. It’s a mystery/thriller/suspense and definitely worth checking out, in my opinion. (below: I didn’t know what a “hen do” was. If you’re like me: English for a bachlorette party)
Goodreads Summary:
In a dark, dark wood
Nora hasn't seen Clare for ten years. Not since Nora walked out of school one day and never went back.
There was a dark, dark house
Until, out of the blue, an invitation to Clare’s hen do arrives. Is this a chance for Nora to finally put her past behind her?
And in the dark, dark house there was a dark, dark room
But something goes wrong. Very wrong.
And in the dark, dark room....
Some things can’t stay secret for ever.
Final thoughts:
We need patience.
Patience to hold on. Patience to be still. Patience to let it come to you.
Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. Seek and you shall find.
But it may take some time to find the right door. And it might not be found until you’re ready.
Have a great week!
Until next time, much glitter,
Melissa
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