Dealing with opinions & criticism
Note: This should have the date: August 22, 2022.
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Update: The time is near.
Motivate: How do you handle criticism?
Book discussion: Book review: THE BODYGUARD
New Onyx Podcast: Neon Chick
Final thoughts
Update:
Happy Monday!
Are you planning to slay this week with your mighty attitude? (Hopefully it’s a good attitude.)
I’m coming down the home stretch of this novel, THE LOVE PENTAGON. I have less than 100 pages to re-read and do minor edits, and then I’m ready for beta readers. I’ve already selected my core betas, and I’m surprisingly nervous about them reading this book.
My reliable writing group has seen a lot of the manuscript, and have given me awesome feedback, which has shaped the novel. But there’s a lot they haven’t seen, and I’ve done a few risky things in this novel. And I’m hoping the risks are well-received. That means, a lot of this book will soon be seen for the first time by eyes other than mine.
How do I know it’s ready for other eyes? Well, I’ve taken it as far as I can right now. I’ve spent so much time with this manuscript, I’m blind to what else might need to be done. It’s time for me to stop working on it for 4-6 weeks and see what other people think.
So, what are beta readers?
(This is straight from Reedsy (an online writing blog/resource), but why recreate a definition that’s perfectly described online?)
Beta readers review finished manuscripts before they're published, providing the author with feedback from the reader’s point of view.
Beta readers can be friends or family members — anyone who will approach the book as a casual reader, pointing out things they liked and disliked, and highlighting the elements writers become blind to during countless revisions.
Beta readers are a form of quality control, but they don’t do the job of a professional editor.
Typically, an author will take their manuscript through many rounds of self-editing. Then, when they’re happy with it, they will submit it to a few beta readers, and how many is up to the writer. Too few, and you risk editing in the wrong way. Too many, and you can become confused and frustrated (too many chefs in the kitchen)
This is the smallest group of betas I’ve ever had for a novel. I was planning on 3, people I went out of my way to ask, but someone asked me—randomly, and out of the blue—yesterday, which tickled me to death.
So, this round of beta readers will consist of 4 people, unless others end up showing interest, which I’m down for, but I’ve decided not to ask anyone else directly to critique because I have a healthy fear of imposing (or people feeling obligated), and the last thing I want my book to be is a chore.
This should be fun!
I’ll let you know when my hands are off and other hands are on!
Motivate:
How do you handle criticism?
With this book, I’m anticipating honest reader feelings, and some might be negative. And I’ll have to respond to those feelings, thoughts, opinions.
But criticism happens in all aspects of life, not just writing. When we’re reprimanded or rebuffed or someone says they don’t like us (or perhaps the way we behave or the opinions we hold, etc.)
The bottom line…we humans deal with “rejection” in some form or another all the time.
So, do you let the comments turn you bitter? Do you crumble under the weight of critique? Do you agonize and dwell on everything you’ve done wrong in life?
I don’t think so.
I like to think I handle book critiques like I do personal critiques:
1.) Feel the sting. Acknowledge your feelings, rational or irrational, and give yourself permission to feel sad/mad/frustrated for a period of time. (But you can’t let it become your excuse for not moving forward.)
2.) After you’ve given yourself the appropriate period of grief, it’s time to evaluate the critique for validity. It is someone’s opinion? Do you agree? If you change because of the comments/suggestions, will it be for the better?
3.) Learn from your research. Apply what you can and let the rest go.
4.) Use the critiques to better yourself. Don’t hate the person critiquing you; that’s a waste of time.
And we must remember…
You can’t please everyone all the time. (This line is in my book, said by smokin’ hot Ransom)
Just because someone says something to you, doesn’t make it fact. And if you’re hell-bent on convincing others your way is the right way and they should align with your way of thinking, you’re missing the point. Everyone is allowed to their own thoughts and opinions, but guess what, you aren’t bound by those thoughts and opinions, a life lesson it took me a long time to learn.
It’s okay to be open to change. But it's okay to respectfully disagree. And it’s also okay to allow others to have their own opinions. The beauty of life is that we’re all different. And we each get to make our own choices, even if they aren’t understood. (Wow, this is another concept in my book, around the discussion of biracial curls. (Including smokin’ hot Atticus.) I don’t know if the book is influencing me or I’m influencing the book. But it probably doesn’t matter.)
Finally, if someone you respect and love is giving you a critique or a criticism, take note because there’s always a reason the person’s saying it. It might be a bad reason that you ignore. But it’s worth exploring. You might learn something.
Book Review:
The Bodyguard
I’m 83% of the way through THE BODYGUARD, and while I haven’t read that last line, I’m going to go ahead and highly recommend this book. It’s a romance. Funny, light, full of heart, and just plain entertaining. (If everything 100% realistic? No, but it’s fiction done right IMO)
I follow the author, Katherine Center, on Instagram, and she’s the cutest thing ever. She’s a sweet, bright, hopeful person. I’ve read only one other book by her, but I enjoyed it too, and reading this one has me questioning why I haven’t read more.
Hearts all around, for the book, for the author, for all the feels this book gave me.
Goodreads summary:
She’s got his back. Hannah Brooks looks more like a kindergarten teacher than somebody who could kill you with a wine bottle opener. Or a ballpoint pen. Or a dinner napkin. But the truth is, she’s an Executive Protection Agent (aka "bodyguard"), and she just got hired to protect superstar actor Jack Stapleton from his middle-aged, corgi-breeding stalker.
He’s got her heart. Jack Stapleton’s a household name—captured by paparazzi on beaches the world over, famous for, among other things, rising out of the waves in all manner of clingy board shorts and glistening like a Roman deity. But a few years back, in the wake of a family tragedy, he dropped from the public eye and went off the grid.
They’ve got a secret. When Jack’s mom gets sick, he comes home to the family’s Texas ranch to help out. Only one catch: He doesn’t want his family to know about his stalker. Or the bodyguard thing. And so Hannah—against her will and her better judgment—finds herself pretending to be Jack’s girlfriend as a cover. Even though her ex, like a jerk, says no one will believe it.
What could possibly go wrong??? Hannah hardly believes it, herself. But the more time she spends with Jack, the more real it all starts to seem. And there lies the heartbreak. Because it’s easy for Hannah to protect Jack. But protecting her own, long-neglected heart? That’s the hardest thing she’s ever done.
Summary of the story and author podcast:
Noodle is pleased to discover a ‘special’ born amongst the newest chicks. His older sister is even more pleased, knowing this will keep Noodle occupied as she seeks enlightenment without interruption. Follow these siblings on their individual journeys that coalesce into a singular discovery.
After the reading we talk to Ronly Blau about the various inspirations for this work, as well as her own journey with meditation, yoga, and Ayurveda. Ronly provides insight to the benefits of co-authoring her book, The Mindbody Cleanse: A 14-Day Detox and Rejuvenation Program from Ancient Ayurveda, and most importantly, she recalls the first book that brought her to tears, and revealed the power of storytelling.
Final thoughts:
Listening without immediate reaction or retaliation is a HUGE life skill.
Listen because you might learn something, about yourself, about the world, about the person you’re listening to.
Use the criticism, as Winston Churchill says, to IMPROVE.
It’s a stepping stone, not a destination.
Have a glittery week.
Much love,
Melissa
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