Always win, never lose.
Today’s focus: Never lose, always win
In this edition:
The Quote
Update
Giveaway winner announcement!
Motivate: Win/Win
Book Review: THE LAST MRS. PARRISH
New Onyx Podcast: Green Tips and Orange Peels
Final thoughts
“Win/Win is a belief in the third alternative. It’s not your way or my why; it’s a better way, a higher way.”
—Steven Covey
Update:
When life changes, even when it’s something you want, it can be hard to adjust. I still haven’t adjusted to the idea of having an agent. Even when I finished revisions on THE FALSE FLAT, sent them to my agent, and HEARD BACK from her…none of it felt real. I wonder when that will change.
Her goal is to get back to me at the end of this week, and we’ll see what the next step is!
As always, I’ll keep you posted, and thank you for taking this journey with me. I’m honored, truly.
The results are in…
Congratulations to Kaylee Brogan! She was the winner of my giveaway. She worked hard to share the news (thank you, Kaylee!) and earned multiple entries, which paid off!! I can’t wait for her to enjoy those Bee Purely Radiant products, beautifying as she reads one of her two new books already on their way to her!
A little about Kaylee:
I am originally from Arizona and moved to the midwest where I met and married my amazing husband Riley. I've always had an interest in the world of real estate and I have a sincere passion for helping people. Being the buyer agent on my team my clients truly benefit from my knowledge of the market, my availability and willingness to move quickly in this fast paced real estate market. In my spare time, I really enjoy reading and love to cook. Thank you Melissa for this amazing giveaway and the sense of community you bring to the social media platform!
You’re welcome, Kaylee! And I’m so pleased you are now a part of this community!
Doing a giveaway was a (mostly) fun way for me to get my name out there while only indirectly promoting myself, which is the worst part of a writing career.
Good thing I’m not going into a field where my success is dependent on others having heard of me. Oh wait…
It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
And I’m determined, so…
It’s fine.
Let’s move along before I break out into hives.
Motivate:
After pausing for my exciting news, I want to jump back into our journey to be our best selves, the most effective people we can be, by temporarily using Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
How do you approach life? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you celebrate other people’s wins or do you see the wins of others as a loss to yourself?
Stephen Covey’s idea of approaching life as a win/win scenario works in business, but bleeds over into our personal lives. Win/win means there are no losers in a deal or relationship; you both get something good out of it. It may not be what you were originally after, but it’s still beneficial for you.
My husband and I have started implementing this approach with our kids, and it’s been fun to watch them as I respond to their requests. “Oh, you want to do that? What’s in it for me?” It’s not always that self-seeking, but it’s a great way to compromise with your kids and get them thinking about someone else’s perspective. And they’re happier when everyone wins.
When you look at relationships, the ones that work the best are those that are mutually beneficial. It’s a little weird to think in those terms, but if you’re the one always giving or relenting, then resentments can build in you, the “loser,” or it could foster a sense of entitlement in the “winner.”
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you don’t want to do something but you’re afraid to say it because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings? We tend to think of this as being “nice” or “selfless.” But if you’re not being your true self, then you’re not doing anyone any favors.
Hrand Saxenian, a professor at Harvard Business School, defines emotional maturity as the ability to express one’s own feelings and convictions with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others.
The other person isn’t MORE important than you. Both sets of feelings should be considered.
You are important. Your thoughts and feelings are important. Your friend’s/business relation’s thoughts and feelings are important. Both sides of any relationship must be seen as important or the relationship breaks down.
And that goes back to our responses when we see someone succeed or fail.
Despite what society likes to tell us, we are better when we work together.
If you succeed, I will celebrate your success because it isn’t taking away from me. It’s actually an opportunity for me to learn from you. And there’s enough success to go around. In most cases, there’s an infinite supply. Someone else’s success doesn’t use up yours.
On the opposite side of the coin, I will not celebrate your failures because your flub doesn’t make me better than you. I am not more likely to succeed because you failed.
The lose/win mentality (only one of us can win) is draining and takes time from our own success. We are individuals with different talents and ideas and those talents become so much more when we work together.
(Continued in final thoughts below)
Book review:
The Last Mrs. Parrish
This was a wild read, as it’s an example of an author creating an unlikable main character, but you still want to follow her story because you’re too curious. You’ve got to find out if her horrible life philosophy and patters are rewarded or punished.
It’s a pretty good read, full of deception and darkness, and a perfect example of someone going for what they want…only, they’ll do it at ANY cost.
Goodreads review:
Amber Patterson is fed up. She’s tired of being a nobody: a plain, invisible woman who blends into the background. She deserves more—a life of money and power like the one blond-haired, blue-eyed goddess Daphne Parrish takes for granted.
To everyone in the exclusive town of Bishops Harbor, Connecticut, Daphne—a socialite and philanthropist—and her real-estate mogul husband, Jackson, are a couple straight out of a fairy tale.
Amber’s envy could eat her alive . . . if she didn't have a plan. Amber uses Daphne’s compassion and caring to insinuate herself into the family’s life—the first step in a meticulous scheme to undermine her. Before long, Amber is Daphne’s closest confidante, traveling to Europe with the Parrishes and their lovely young daughters, and growing closer to Jackson. But a skeleton from her past may undermine everything that Amber has worked towards, and if it is discovered, her well-laid plan may fall to pieces.
New Onyx Podcast!
Written by Francis Miller
Narrated by Melissa Collings
Francis and I are on the same page; we have similar life philosophies. And J. W. and I had such a fun time interviewing him.
During the interview, Francis revealed the inspiration for this short story, and how memoir-turned-fiction equals fun and creative story telling. He also elucidates his path for leaving a high-paying day job to pursue his passion, which is something we can all learn from.
It’s inspiring to see someone striving for their dreams and not letting anything stand in their way.
Summary: A co-ed middle school sleep over, filled with awkward boys and confident girls, leads to competitions, dares, and firsts — pleasant memories that not even chocolate can destroy.
Final thoughts:
The idea of win/win in life might mean transforming ideas/tendencies.
It comes from having:
Integrity - knowing who you are and what you stand for. And knowing that you’re worthy and worthy to be considered.
Maturity - the ability to stand up for yourself while still respecting others. Other people are just as important as you are.
Recognizing abundance - there is plenty of win to go around. Your success doesn’t mean I’ve failed. My failure doesn’t mean you’ve succeeded.
We accomplish more when we work together, support one another, help one another.
As you move through today and this week, think of interactions you have coming up. Will you need to compromise? Can you join forces with someone?
Think through what obstacles might stand in your way.
Does a relationship need evening-out? Give if you need to. Take if you need to.
Generally, make an effort to restore balance in your relationships.
Let’s work together, not against each other. It is an awesome feeling to partake in success, so much better than to be crushed by it.
And it’s all in the way you think!
Have a great week!
Until next time, much glitter,
Melissa
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