Putting First Things First
In this edition:
The Quote
Update
Motivate: Put First Things First
Medical moment: snacks I love: crackers!
Final thoughts
“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
- Goethe
Update:
I hope you’re doing well today.
For me, last week was filled with more querying. After the 2 rejections I received, I decided to send my material to 8 more agents. And I’ve already heard from 2 of those. Unfortunately, it was more rejection. However, interestingly, 1 of them rejected me (at least in part) based on my website and “platform.”
If you’re curious, here’s exactly what she said:
“I noticed on your website and social media, you reference that you write short stories, poems, women's fiction and suspense. I would recommend focusing on building a brand/presence that is centered around the genre in which you most want to write and to be published in. This will help reduce any agent or publisher confusion. So work on nailing down the genre and then carve out your place within it.”
I’ve never received feedback like this. On one hand, I’m pleased that she took the time to look my website. On another, I don’t write poetry, and I’ve written ONE short story that was published. Most agents want to hear about your publishing background. Was she confused because she was trying to give me personalized feedback but didn’t really have the time and so scanned and got her info wrong? Or was she confused because my website is poorly arranged? I’m not sure. I’m going to tuck this information away, check my website to make sure it’s clear and accurately represents my goals, and move along.
In this business and in life in general, I’ve learned that it isn’t healthy or productive to obsess over 1 person’s feedback, especially when it doesn’t match any other feedback. Now, if a bunch of agents tell me this, I’ll need to change something. But for now, I’ll evaluate her words, see what speaks to me, and change/improve minor things that I might agree with.
And if you all happen to look at my website and think: I have no idea what this girl is about or trying to achieve, let me know!
Now let’s talk about that giveaway…
This week I’ve also been gearing up for my huge social media experiment. (And a push outside my comfort zone.) And I’m excited. Running March 1-31, 2022, everyone who signs up for my newsletter will be entered into a giveaway for this prize package:
$50 worth of products from Bee Purely Radiant:
A TN based small business making all-natural bath/body products. I love these products! (pic shows examples of products you could receive). BEE YOUR BEST SELF.
One book from your To Be Read list!
A signed copy of Rea Frey’s newest domestic drama: Secrets of Our House. (Graciously supplied by Rea herself! And this just came out in February!) Learn more about Rea and her books here.
Increase your odds:
1. Check my social media accounts (starting March 1) for post sharing opportunities. (links are below)
2. Forward this email to any friend you think might be interested (copy me so I know!) = +1 entry
3. If your friend(s) signs up because of your forwarded email, you get +1 entry for every sign-up!
The winner will be announced live on Instagram Friday, April 1, 2022 at 7pm. If you miss the live drawing, no worries. I’ll announce the winner on all my social media accounts right after the live drawing and the winner will be emailed.
For more information or to enter:
Motivate:
For the past couple weeks, we’ve been exploring The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s intriguing because don’t we all want to be the best versions of ourselves?
Habit #1: You are in charge of your life. You are responsible for your actions.
Habit #2: Answers the question: What do you want to do with your life? This is your mission, a plan that reflects what’s most important to you and the steps you need to get there.
Habit # 3 and today’s focus: Enact the plan.
Phew. I’m going to be honest, I don’t like this one. You mean I have to actually follow the plan I came up with?!
Coming up with a plan is great. It’s theoretical. It holds all kind of potential. It feels nice. It’s a delight to think about. It’s a dream. It’s exciting.
And crossing things off a list is therapeutic, right? Well, this is not about managing a list. It’s about managing yourself.
I have bad knees. I don’t want bad knees. I know I need to exercise to improve my knee problems, but I don’t like to exercise.
I printed a knee exercise sheet. I told myself: I will attempt to fix my knees by doing these exercises every day. It’s a great plan. It’s on my mental to-do list every day. Do I do it? Rarely. And it drives me nuts. My intention doesn’t “stick".” And at the end of the day when I’m in bed and I realize I never did those freaking exercises, do I get up? Nah. I sigh, feel a little disappointed in myself for not following through, then I tell myself I’ll do them tomorrow. Myself and I both know there’s about a 15% chance of that actually happening, and yet…
“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. Successful people don’t like doing them either necessarily, but their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.” - E.M. Gray.
In other words, you gotta really want it. If you think you really want something then you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to do what it takes to get there. If you can’t do what it takes to get there, you might not want it badly enough. Or maybe, you just haven’t established your priorities deeply enough. That’s a bold statement. (Covey, the author of the 7 habits book, doesn’t mess around.) But applied to my knee problem. It’s true.
I REALLY want better knees, but I’m not willing to do what it takes to get better knees. I will only regularly work on my knees when it becomes a deep need, important enough to put in the effort required.
What are you not following through on?
If you really want to do something (diet, novel, a better relationship, a work goal, exercise, etc.), you have to have intention, daily planning, specific step-by-step plans. It takes discipline and repetition. It doesn’t mean time management. It means self management.
It means saying yes to your goal and no to things that detract from your goal.
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage to say “no” to other things. And the way that you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.” -Steve Covey
Without a foundation for your plans, they have nothing to cling to. They are blown away by the first strong wind, and you’re left on the ground instead of climbing to a new place, where you could’ve looked down and observed your achievements.
How do you start?
Establish what’s important.
Put it on your schedule.
Do it.
Ignore the “urgent,” unimportant tasks that get in the way. (Can that phone call wait? Evaluate your time.)
Do the task again.
Do it again.
Do it again.
Keep doing it until it becomes a part of you.
Your calendar is your servant, not your master. Put your priorities on your schedule, first things first.
(final thoughts below)
Medical Moment: Healthy Snacks
Mary’s Gone Crackers
My friend Meredith told me about these crackers, and they’re excellent.
I love crackers, but since going gluten free, I’ve had a hard time finding a snack with a satisfying crunch that pairs with all the yummy things crackers pair with.
Sadly, they aren’t Cheez-its, but they’re worth a try.
Wait until they go on sale though, which they regularly do at all the grocery stores.
Book review:
Stay tuned. I’m 7% into Beautiful World Where Are You, but I’m struggling to get invested. I’m probably going to move along again.
Final thoughts:
What do you think of habit #3?
I think a plan is at its strongest when it is acted upon, but I also think it’s too overwhelming to make a bunch of changes all at once. Start with one thing that you want to change, one thing that if you were to do today would improve your life.
Add it to your schedule this week; make it the priority you say it is.
It’s not something to cross off; it’s something to incorporate…forever. If it doesn’t “stick,’ re-evaluate what it means to you. You don’t have to stick with something just because you said you were. We all try things and change our minds. That’s part of the process. Sometimes what we think we want isn’t what we want, and the only way to know that is to try it.
If it means something to you, make it happen. Do it. Consistently. Repetitively.
Lasting change takes action and persistence.
Here’s a small, but important, thing I’m doing:
I asked myself what was one thing I could do to improve my life. It’s important to me to get up at 5am every morning. I LOVE that hour to myself. But I’ve slipped, and I’ve been staying up late and sleeping in a lot of mornings lately. My goal is to get up every morning at 5am, which means an earlier bedtime. This is what I’m working on this week with determination, until I re-train my body so it’s not so much of a chore.
Will you join me? You don’t have to get up at 5am every morning, but really think… What’s one thing you could do that would improve your life? Say it out loud; I’m serious.
Will you go after it this week?
Until next time, much glitter,
Melissa
Don’t forget about the giveaway! Sign up and enter here.
I’m curious to see how this goes.
