Who are you?
Today’s focus: Being who you are.
In this Holiday Edition:
Quote
Update & Motivate: Combined holiday edition.
Book Review: GET A LIFE CHLOE BROWN
Final thoughts
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
—Oscar Wilde
At Cheekwood for the Easter event.
Update & Motivate:
Agent update: I haven’t heard from my agent. This makes me all kinds of nervous. Intellectually, I know she’s got a ton on her plate, but my mind is filling in the silence:
She’s changed her mind. She regrets offering me representation.
My edits are horrible, and she’s taking a long time to figure out how to correct this mess.
Ugh, I need to stop. She’s just busy, but what if…
Thanks for letting me get that out.
Whenever you’re reading this, I hope you are doing well.
For me, this week has been busy. At our house, my imagination has been in full swing, creating magical holiday excitement for my kids, but keeping me in a low state of terror. You see, when we had our first child, I decided I’d really “do” Easter (or any holiday).
(Start with the fun, stay for the lesson at the end. I promise I’m going somewhere with this.)
Some of my fondest childhood memories revolve around the magic of the holidays, little things to look forward to: the Easter basket, the surprise goodies, the egg hunts, etc. So naturally, on that first Easter for my own child, I went ALL out. I had the time and energy and the excitement to do it all. The creative side of life really gives me a sense of gratification, which is why I go to great lengths.
The only problem is, once you set the bar that high, you have to keep jumping…every year.
Here’s what I’ve committed us to:
1. Peep (a stuffed toy – see below—similar to Elf on the Shelf) comes out about 2 weeks before Easter. Every morning the girls hunt for Peep, discovering what mischief (It’s usually mischief) that this guy has created.
2. Cheep – because one Easter ‘spy” isn’t enough. They’re now looking for Peep AND Cheep.
3. Garland – Because our Christmas Elf is excited about Easter and asked Santa if he could visit for a few days. Now they’re looking for Peep, Cheep, AND Garland.
4. Notes on the printer from Peep, Cheep, and Garland. Because you started it, and now the children run to the printer in excitement to see if the peeps left a note.
5. The gathering of the house peeps – I have a problem. Every time I see a new peep, I think…wouldn’t that be cute?! We have a “peep” thing going, and if 2 peeps are great, 15 are better, right? They come “alive” during Easter time, and now Aerie is afraid to change in front of them since they, you know, move about the house and all.
Peep, Cheep, Garland, and all our house Peeps playing a game of UNO.
6. Glow hunts – because come on…an egg hunt in the dark, where the eggs glow? Yeah, sign me up for this action…every year.
This is what they woke up to. (Peep on the left, Garland in the middle, Cheep on the right.)
I love these eggs. (Yes, that’s a giant Peep in the corner. I told you I had a problem.)
7. Egg dying – I mean, doesn’t everyone?
8. Easter baskets – standard.
9. Bunny footprints to the baskets that start on the front stairs (see below) – because a glittery trail of bunny footprints is the icing on the proverbial Easter cake.
10. An Easter morning egg hunt because the glow hunt isn’t enough.
For the children, it’s FUN and Magical, and when I see their little eyes light up with glee, I think, this is right. This is how it’s supposed to be. But there’s an alternate side to this.
Here’s what it looks like for us (the parents), the flip side to the excitement:
1. We have to REMEMBER to move Peep, Cheep, AND Garland EVERY night because WE ARE THE PEEPS, and my children will be crushed if, God forbid, those stuffed creatures are in the SAME place they were left in yesterday. And imma be real wit chu…there are many nights where I know Stephen is cursing me under his breath for starting all this. And when I’m snuggled in bed for the night, and Stephen pops up and in a loud whisper says, “Melissa, the peeps!” I curse myself a little. (But then I set those guys up, and I stand back to look at my handiwork, and I think…maybe it IS all worth it.)
Honestly, it’s a vicious cycle of me filled with dread and/or finding the whole process utterly charming.
2. We have to think up new and exciting predicaments for the peeps, again, every night.
3. We have to remember to print the notes. We have to think up witty banter to place on said notes. Because…we are the peeps. They don’t create the notes on their own, like you’d think and/or hope/dream/wish.
4. We have to find all of the peeps, all the time because every day they’re shufflin’.
5. Glow hunts – the tiny glow sticks have to be obtained. Stuffing the large ones into the eggs isn’t advised. Trust me, until you’ve had toxic glow material spread all over you, you haven’t lived, but it’s not a life I recommend, so just get the tiny glow sticks that actually FIT into the eggs. Arranging this so it looks like the peeps hid the eggs takes strategy (will the children wake too early? How will we occupy them while the hiding is going on? etc.)
They need classes for this, or at least classes warning you about the dangers of imagination, brutal over-commitment and crushing expectations. (Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you HAVE to do it. Unless you’ve set that expectation, and then…well…)
6. The egg hunts have to done in secret, which means stumbling around in a dark yard after the girls go to bed, placing signs (because you can’t just have a normal egg hunt. There should be signs!)
7. The footprints – you have to make your own cutout because the stickers they sell on Amazon come in different sizes, and as magical as that incredible bunny is, his feet do not change size mid-hop (come on Amazon sellers, help a psycho out!). So you pull out your custom stencil and the flour and the glitter and you create the trail.
All this, and you get none of the credit. The kids think a mythical bunny hops into the house and/or they show their appreciation to felt, inanimate objects.
But here’s the thing…
In all the “down” sides to the above scenarios, I really do love this stuff. That’s how I’m wired, a crazy, over-imaginative, over-committed (should be committed?), fairy-like individual who, at the end of the day, would do it all over again.
When other people hear/see what I’ve done, the reactions are varied. Some people do this and more, some are simply worn out by my shenanigans, others love it but wouldn’t do it themselves, others call me a “good mom”, and I’m sure there are yet still others who are irritated, potentially comparing themselves and what they have/have not done for their own children.
I do this because it’s how I show my kids I care. I like the presentation of things, and most of what I do, while inexpensive, is time intensive. One of these days they’ll find out that Stephen and I are the Easter Bunny and Peep and Cheep and Garland (and the tooth fairy and the leprechaun and the fairies, etc). And I hope they look back on all we did with fondness.
BUT…
The key here is this: this is how I/WE do it. Other people show their kids love in different ways. For example, I’m not the most touchy-feely person out there. So my kids won’t look back at their childhood and think of how mom smothered them with all kinds of physical affection. I do those things, but not like other people. I also expect my kids to respect how I like my surroundings. I have breakables around, and I expect them to remain un-broken. I do not have the philosophy of: “oh, let them be kids.” Other people do.
I hope you get what I’m saying. We each have our different strengths and ways of doing things. Mine might be different from yours. And that’s okay.
An actress friend of mine (Thanks, Meredith.) shared something she learned while acting: “Don’t try to be like someone else. They will always be better at it than you are.” I absolutely love that. You will never be as good at being me as I will. And I will never be as good at being you as you will.
Recently I’ve taken to doing Instagram reels. When deciding what to post each week, I flip through what other people are doing. Some people out there are putting on magnificent productions. I started to get a little depressed because I knew I couldn’t compete. Then I thought…why do I want to?
When I try to be you, I stop being me, and I miss out on what I have to offer. When you try to be someone else, you diminish the thing that makes you, you. We all have different abilities, talents, and preferences. Those differences should be celebrated (I’m pretty sure my character Grant in The False Flat said something very similar…I bleed into my books.)
In the example of the human body, one person might be a large arm, someone else, a smaller finger. An arm is great; it does amazing things, but it doesn’t do what a finger does. If a finger pretended to be an arm, we’d lose the use of the hand.
What you do is unique. You have your own thing to offer. Enjoy what someone else can do, while you do your thing and let the other person enjoy you being you. You’ll do it better than anyone else.
Book review:
Get a Life, Chloe Brown
Category: Romance
This is my first book by Talia Hibbert, and I must say that I enjoyed it immensely. It was so humorous and fun while still touching deep subject matter. However, the more romance (or books with romantic components) I read, I realize that I prefer books that don’t “lay it all out there.” I mean, I’m in for the essence of intimacy, the subtlety, the prelude, the implied, the tension, etc. But I don’t enjoy graphic depictions of said intimacy. With this book, I could’ve used less explicit material and more of the quick-wittedness, the sweetness, the heart-meltyness, which this book definitely has in spades and which was absolutely charming.
So if you don’t mind explicit heat (it wasn’t on every page, just scattered throughout), go for this! If you’re like me and don’t need the graphic, still read, but maybe skip/skim certain parts. You’ll know them when they arrive. But still, there are some things you can’t “unsee” even if you’re trying not to look it in the face. (Haha). For those who go can’t/don’t handle that sort of thing…probably just skip this one.
Goodreads Summary:
Chloe Brown is a chronically ill computer geek with a goal, a plan, and a list. After almost—but not quite—dying, she’s come up with six directives to help her “Get a Life”, and she’s already completed the first: finally moving out of her glamourous family’s mansion. The next items?
• Enjoy a drunken night out.
• Ride a motorcycle.
• Go camping.
• Have meaningless but thoroughly enjoyable sex.
• Travel the world with nothing but hand luggage.
• And... do something bad.
But it’s not easy being bad, even when you’ve written step-by-step guidelines on how to do it correctly. What Chloe needs is a teacher, and she knows just the man for the job.
Redford ‘Red’ Morgan is a handyman with tattoos, a motorcycle, and more sex appeal than ten-thousand Hollywood heartthrobs. He’s also an artist who paints at night and hides his work in the light of day, which Chloe knows because she spies on him occasionally. Just the teeniest, tiniest bit.
But when she enlists Red in her mission to rebel, she learns things about him that no spy session could teach her. Like why he clearly resents Chloe’s wealthy background. And why he never shows his art to anyone. And what really lies beneath his rough exterior…
Final thoughts:
I’ll likely get back to the 7 habits next week, but this came to my mind a few times this week, and as such, I wanted to share because maybe, like me, you needed to hear it too.
Today, don’t focus on what you can’t do or what someone else can do. Focus on what you can do. How can you use the simple fact that you are you to make your circle a better place?
Everyone, everyone…everyone one has something to contribute. Everyone. And what you have to contribute is important. And if anyone’s telling you otherwise (including yourself), send them my way.
Have a great week!
Until next time, much glitter,
Melissa
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